Getting into the final leg of this edit. I'll then compile the newly edited version, comb through it again, and post it in its entirety. Same format as before. Original paragraph is in white, edited paragraph in blue underneath. If there's no blue, there's no edit. If you're interested, here are the tunes that are accompanying me tonight.
Zeke's vision, enhanced through the optic mounted atop his rifle, fed him deadly data used to perforate enemy targets. He could see that across from his building and slightly below was another rooftop where several enemy soldiers had setup a series rocket launchers. They were getting ready to pummel the tanks located below them, which would wipe out the armor division on Zeke's team and make victory nearly impossible.
Steadying himself behind the rifle, Zeke calmed his breath, his real breath, feeling the cool, curved steel of the trigger. With a gentle press he sent the first round sailing, the hot lead cracking over the open space in a flash, striking the target like lightning from on high. The imaginary bullet struck the enemy soldier in the head, killing his avatar instantly. Zeke was stunned.
Steadying himself behind the rifle, Zeke calmed his breath, his real breath, feeling the cool, curved steel of the trigger. With a gentle press he sent the first round sailing, the hot lead cracking over the open space in a flash, striking the target like lightning from on high. The imaginary bullet struck the enemy soldier in the head, killing his avatar instantly. Zeke was stunned.
Steadying himself behind the rifle, Zeke calmed his breath, his real breath, and felt the cool, curved titanium of the rifle's trigger. With a gentle press he sent the first round sailing, the hot tungsten core cracking over the open space in a flash, striking the target like lightning from on high. The imaginary bullet struck the enemy soldier in the head, killing his avatar instantly. Zeke blinked, stunning himself with his own shot.
"There's no way you hit him," Tyrin said, amazed. "That's a shot for a sniper, not an assault kit."
"There's no way you hit him," Tyrin said, amazed. "That's a shot for a sniper, not an assault kit."
"There's no way you actually hit him," Tyrin said with disbelief. "That's the kind of shot for a sniper."
Not bothering to answer, Zeke instead took advantage of the confusion on the enemy building, firing off a string of five shots, each one resulting in a kill, his score slowly tallying up in the bottom left corner of his vision, with bonuses being applied for the ranges he was shooting from. A quick glance showed that Zeke was now at the top of the scoreboard.
Not bothering to answer, Zeke instead took advantage of the confusion on the enemy building, firing off a string of five shots, each one resulting in a kill, his score slowly tallying up in the bottom left corner of his vision, with bonuses being applied for the ranges he was shooting from. A quick glance showed that Zeke was now at the top of the scoreboard.
Not bothering to answer, Zeke instead took advantage of the confusion and chaos that was starting among the remaining targets. He fired off a string of five shots, each one resulting in a kill, his score slowly tallying up in the corner of his vision, with bonuses being applied for the ranges he was shooting from. A quick glance showed that Zeke was now at the top of the scoreboard.
"God damn," Tyrin said, flabbergasted.
"Still doubting me?" Zeke asked his friend.
"Still want to doubt me?" Zeke asked his friend.
"Say the word and I'll follow," Tyrin laughed.
"Still doubting me?" Zeke asked his friend.
"Still want to doubt me?" Zeke asked his friend.
"Say the word and I'll follow," Tyrin laughed.
"Hell no! Just say the word and I'll follow you," Tyrin laughed.
Zeke opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was replaced by a crashing thunderclap which threw both players across the building top. Zeke felt his ears pop from the pressure wave, warm blood trickling down his jawline. Rolling over onto his stomach, Zeke pulled himself to his feet and saw that the segment of roof he and Tyrin had been standing on had been blown apart, a shot being made by one of the walkers down in the square below. Someone had figured out where they were shooting from. His head still buzzing, Zeke reached up tho his ear and his hand came away wet.
Zeke opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was replaced by a crashing thunderclap which threw both players across the building top. Zeke felt his ears pop from the pressure wave, warm blood trickling down his jawline. Rolling over onto his stomach, Zeke pulled himself to his feet and saw that the segment of roof he and Tyrin had been standing on had been blown apart, a shot being made by one of the walkers down in the square below. Someone had figured out where they were shooting from. His head still buzzing, Zeke reached up tho his ear and his hand came away wet.
Zeke opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was replaced by a crashing thunderclap of an impact, one which threw both players across the building top. Zeke felt his ears pop from the pressure wave, warm blood trickling down his jawline. Rolling over onto his stomach, he jerked himself to his feet and saw that the segment of roof he and Tyrin had been standing on had been blown apart. The shot had been made by one of the walkers down in the square below. Someone had figured out where Zeke was shooting from. His head still buzzing, Zeke reached up under his helmet and felt his ear. Pulling back, his hand came away warm and wet.
"Let's fall back and rejoin the rest of the infantry," Tyrin said, his voice sounding distant.
"Let's fall back and rejoin the rest of the infantry," Tyrin said, his voice sounding distant.
"I guess the party's over. We can fall back and rejoin the rest of the infantry," Tyrin said, his voice sounding distant.
Zeke still shook his head. "Not if we want to win. We're taking out those tanks."
Zeke still shook his head. "Not if we want to win. We're taking out those tanks."
Zeke still shook his head. "No. We have to keep pushing the score. We're taking out those tanks."
Tyrin could only laugh at the absurdity, his grin audible in his voice. "Hell, I'm in for anything at this point. You're like a force of nature in here."
Tyrin could only laugh at the absurdity, his grin audible in his voice. "Hell, I'm in for anything at this point. You're like a force of nature in here."
Tyrin could only laugh at the absurdity, his grin audible in his voice. "Hell, I'm in for anything. You're a force of nature inside here."
"Still good with those AT mines?" Zeke asked.
"Still good with those AT mines?" Zeke asked.
"I'm glad you spawned as an engineer. Still good with those AT mines?" Zeke asked.
"Yeah, why?" Tyrin replied.
"Because we're going to bump up your score," Zeke said. "We're jumping across the square, and you're going to do damage while we're airborne."
"Because it's time to bump up your score," Zeke said. "We're jumping across the square, and you're going to do some serious damage while we're airborne."
"Yeah, why?" Tyrin replied.
"Because we're going to bump up your score," Zeke said. "We're jumping across the square, and you're going to do damage while we're airborne."
"Because it's time to bump up your score," Zeke said. "We're jumping across the square, and you're going to do some serious damage while we're airborne."
"Okay, I'm not that good," Tyrin huffed.
"I'm okay, but I'm not that good," Tyrin huffed.
"It's okay, I'll tell you when to drop them, just follow my lead," Zeke said, already turning to face the direction he wanted to parachute.
"It's okay, I'll tell you when to drop them. Just follow my lead," Zeke said, already turning to face the direction he wanted to jump.
"This is crazy and I love it," Tyrin said.
"Ready and go!" Zeke said, taking off at a run towards the jagged and smoking lip of the building.
"This is crazy and I love it," Tyrin said.
"Ready and go!" Zeke said, taking off at a run towards the jagged and smoking lip of the building.
"Ready? Go!" Zeke said, taking off at a run towards the jagged and smoking lip of the building.
He made sure Tyrin was right beside him, timing his run perfectly so that they both pushed off from the building edge simultaneously, beginning the free fall portion of what was about to become an ambitiously violent base jump.
He made sure Tyrin was right beside him, timing his run perfectly so that they both pushed off from the building edge simultaneously, beginning the free fall portion of what was about to become an ambitiously violent base jump.
Ensuring Tyrin was right beside him, it was so easy to time his run perfectly to his friends. Striding forward, they pushed off from the building edge simultaneously, beginning the free fall portion of what was about to become an ambitiously violent base jump.
"Read and chute," Zeke commanded, watching Tyrin's hand in perfect clarity so that he deployed his chute at the same time.
"Read and chute," Zeke commanded, watching Tyrin's hand in perfect clarity so that he deployed his chute at the same time.
"Read...chute," Zeke commanded, watching Tyrin's hand in perfect clarity so that he deployed his parachute at the same time.
Glancing down, Zeke saw they were right over the enemy armor, their shadows flitting over the steel monsters, their thin top armor making him salivate. With the ground already rushing closer, and attention turning to the two very out of place parachutists, Zeke started shouting Tyrin was to drop his mines.
Glancing down, Zeke saw they were right over the enemy armor, their shadows flitting over the steel monsters, their thin top armor making him salivate. With the ground already rushing closer, and attention turning to the two very out of place parachutists, Zeke started shouting Tyrin was to drop his mines.
Glancing down, Zeke saw they were right over the enemy armor column, their shadows flitting over the steel monsters, their thin top armor making him salivate. With the ground already rushing closer, and attention turning to the two very out of place parachutists, Zeke started shouting for Tyrin to drop his mines.
"Ready and drop! Ready and drop! Ready and...drop!"
"Ready and drop! Ready and drop! Ready and...drop!"
"Get ready and...drop!" he commanded. "Ready, drop! Ready and...drop!"
The cadence filled the air as Zeke judged the timing on each deployment, a small but potent mine leaving Tyrin's hand on each signal. The dense bundles tumbled down and landed almost directly atop their targets, exploding violently based on proximity to enemy units. The hot drafts of air washed over the two players, smoke and fire extending their flight, pushing them higher.
The cadence filled the air as Zeke judged the timing on each deployment, a small but potent mine leaving Tyrin's hand on each signal. The dense bundles tumbled down and landed almost directly atop their targets, exploding violently based on proximity to enemy units. The hot drafts of air washed over the two players, smoke and fire extending their flight, pushing them higher.
The cadence of his voice filled the air as Zeke judged the timing on each deployment, a small but potent mine leaving Tyrin's hand on each signal. The dense bundles tumbled down and landed directly atop their targets, exploding violently atop the enemy units. The hot drafts of air washed over the two players, smoke and fire extending their flight, pushing them higher.
Zeke and Tyrin hit the ground running, their chutes automatically detaching. They were now in a mad sprint across fifty meters of open air, moving between columns of enemy tanks driven by angry and surprised players. Unable to react in time to the quick moving infantry, the tanks crashed into one another, trying to position themselves for a kill shot. One tank managed to fire his main cannon, only to have another player on the same team intercept the shell, the hull blowing out in roiling flame.
Zeke and Tyrin hit the ground running, their chutes automatically detaching. They were now in a mad sprint across fifty meters of open air, moving between columns of enemy tanks driven by angry and surprised players. Unable to react in time to the quick moving infantry, the tanks crashed into one another, trying to position themselves for a kill shot. One tank managed to fire his main cannon, only to have another player on the same team intercept the shell, the hull blowing out in roiling flame.
Clearing the updrafts, Zeke and Tyrin plunged down and hit the ground running, their chutes automatically detaching. They now found themselves in a mad dash across fifty meters of open terrain, moving between the enemy tanks driven by angry and surprised players. Unable to react in time to the quick moving infantry, the tanks crashed into one another, their barrels twisting and colliding as they tried to rotate for a kill shot. One tank managed to fire his main cannon, only to have another player on the same team intercept the shell, the hull of his armor blowing out in roiling flame.
Zeke put his shoulder through the glass door of the building, which gave under his weight. With Tyrin following close behind, he began a mad ascent up the structure, knowing he had a collection of rocket launchers waiting for him at the top, laughing the whole way up.
Without looking back, Zeke put his shoulder through the glass door of the target building, which shattered under the impact. With Tyrin following close behind, he began a crazed ascent up the structure, knowing he had a collection of rocket launchers waiting for him at the top and exposed enemy armor at the bottom. Zeke laughed the whole way up.
Zeke put his shoulder through the glass door of the building, which gave under his weight. With Tyrin following close behind, he began a mad ascent up the structure, knowing he had a collection of rocket launchers waiting for him at the top, laughing the whole way up.
Without looking back, Zeke put his shoulder through the glass door of the target building, which shattered under the impact. With Tyrin following close behind, he began a crazed ascent up the structure, knowing he had a collection of rocket launchers waiting for him at the top and exposed enemy armor at the bottom. Zeke laughed the whole way up.
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