I have something I’ve very proud of: I’ve kept every single New Year’s resolution throughout my life. I have never failed to live up to my expectations, delivering on my promises to myself decade after decade. What I’m particularly proud of is the fact that I’ve managed this feat without so much as lifting a finger on my part, having accomplished this challenge just by being myself.
“How is this possible?” you clamor, wishing to eat from the tree of my knowledge.
The secret is so simple that anyone can do it (even you, profligate). Ready? Here it is:
I don’t make any damned New Year’s Resolutions. And you know what? It feels great.
“But Mr. Harrison,” you say, “you’ve written articles on setting goals and having structure in your tasks, especially in regards to writing.”
You are correct, young Padawan, but there’s a big difference between setting solid goals based on long term commitment vs. jumping on a train you know is going to derail a week into the New Year.
I fully understand the concept behind the New Year’s Resolution. You set goals for yourself, you announce them to the world, and then you hope that in doing so you will not only have committed yourself, but that other people will recognize what you are trying to accomplish and remind you when you stray, keeping you on course to achieve a monumental new step in your life. This works in many support group scenarios, such as exercise partners, AA, and crime syndicates.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, however, there’s one tiny snag that unravels the whole sweater of support and pressure to succeed. There’s a technical term for it used in scientific circles, a condition known as “nobody gives a shit.”
It’s critical to understand the core difference between a dedicated support group of like minded individuals vs. the mass rabble shouting into the abyss about all the things they are going to accomplish come hell or high water. The reality is that when everyone is making resolutions, nobody is paying any attention to yours. Add to that all sorts of unrealistic expectations and poor planning, and you’ve got a recipe for total failure.
Real change takes real commitment, not just jotting something down or verbalizing it. It requires a change in your daily habits and a state of conscious vigilance in order to correct the bad habit you’re trying to ditch or adhere to the good habit you’re trying to form. These things do not happen overnight; time and energy must be invested. There is no deity that descends on New Year’s who hands out patience, grit, and determination. That has to come from within.
It’s my belief that you are better served not joining the crowd in making resolutions, in caving to a tradition where failure is an expectation and thus an easy way out. “I didn’t keep my resolution, but really, who does?” Unacceptable. You made a choice to change, so do it. Make the choice, make a plan, and execute on it. Do it when people aren’t all trying the same thing. Try summer in Phoenix, when people are trying to not die in the sun. You’ll find a certain catharsis that comes from being out there on your own, finding your own way and pushing through your own shortcomings and hesitations.
Should you have support? Absolutely. That’s why it’s important that you make goals when people aren’t focused on their own. Choose one or two people who will be as committed as you are, because they’re going to be in it for the long haul. Outside of that, put on blinders and earmuffs. All you’re going to get from others is either criticism or false hope.
Or don’t do any of that, tell yourself on December 31 that you’re going to lose 20 pounds in 2015, join in the rabble as they take turns going around the table talking about their resolutions and not listening, then go eat a whole box of BoSa donuts on January 5 and sob while you sell off all the exercise equipment you just bought.
A.C. Harrison
Like what you see here? Spread the word and support indie authors! Follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Find me on Smashwords and Kindlemojo.
“How is this possible?” you clamor, wishing to eat from the tree of my knowledge.
The secret is so simple that anyone can do it (even you, profligate). Ready? Here it is:
I don’t make any damned New Year’s Resolutions. And you know what? It feels great.
“But Mr. Harrison,” you say, “you’ve written articles on setting goals and having structure in your tasks, especially in regards to writing.”
You are correct, young Padawan, but there’s a big difference between setting solid goals based on long term commitment vs. jumping on a train you know is going to derail a week into the New Year.
I fully understand the concept behind the New Year’s Resolution. You set goals for yourself, you announce them to the world, and then you hope that in doing so you will not only have committed yourself, but that other people will recognize what you are trying to accomplish and remind you when you stray, keeping you on course to achieve a monumental new step in your life. This works in many support group scenarios, such as exercise partners, AA, and crime syndicates.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, however, there’s one tiny snag that unravels the whole sweater of support and pressure to succeed. There’s a technical term for it used in scientific circles, a condition known as “nobody gives a shit.”
It’s critical to understand the core difference between a dedicated support group of like minded individuals vs. the mass rabble shouting into the abyss about all the things they are going to accomplish come hell or high water. The reality is that when everyone is making resolutions, nobody is paying any attention to yours. Add to that all sorts of unrealistic expectations and poor planning, and you’ve got a recipe for total failure.
Real change takes real commitment, not just jotting something down or verbalizing it. It requires a change in your daily habits and a state of conscious vigilance in order to correct the bad habit you’re trying to ditch or adhere to the good habit you’re trying to form. These things do not happen overnight; time and energy must be invested. There is no deity that descends on New Year’s who hands out patience, grit, and determination. That has to come from within.
It’s my belief that you are better served not joining the crowd in making resolutions, in caving to a tradition where failure is an expectation and thus an easy way out. “I didn’t keep my resolution, but really, who does?” Unacceptable. You made a choice to change, so do it. Make the choice, make a plan, and execute on it. Do it when people aren’t all trying the same thing. Try summer in Phoenix, when people are trying to not die in the sun. You’ll find a certain catharsis that comes from being out there on your own, finding your own way and pushing through your own shortcomings and hesitations.
Should you have support? Absolutely. That’s why it’s important that you make goals when people aren’t focused on their own. Choose one or two people who will be as committed as you are, because they’re going to be in it for the long haul. Outside of that, put on blinders and earmuffs. All you’re going to get from others is either criticism or false hope.
Or don’t do any of that, tell yourself on December 31 that you’re going to lose 20 pounds in 2015, join in the rabble as they take turns going around the table talking about their resolutions and not listening, then go eat a whole box of BoSa donuts on January 5 and sob while you sell off all the exercise equipment you just bought.
A.C. Harrison
Like what you see here? Spread the word and support indie authors! Follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Find me on Smashwords and Kindlemojo.
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